whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
