When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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