I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Randomize
