party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
