Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
