I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
