I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Randomize
