yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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