Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
