I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
