Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
