ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
