And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
She even gives head with a lisp.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
