you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
