So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I queefed so loud it echoed.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Randomize
