I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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