I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
