I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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