He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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