he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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