Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
