the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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