I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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