Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
MIDGETS
????
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
