yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
