Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
