Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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