is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
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