Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
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