i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Randomize
