i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
