haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
you would pick up someone in the library
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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