So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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