Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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