So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
