its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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