i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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