I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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