he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
