Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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