Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
