Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
