Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
