I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
