Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
