Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
