splinters make it hard to masturbate
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
