the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
