i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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