I feel great
I just peed on a car
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
