Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
